Ditch Your Summertime Sadness for Autumnal Awesomeness

My Guest Blog for Everything5Pounds

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

I purposely made all of today’s appointments within walking distance of the office, that way I wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with my car after I’d had a few glasses of champagne at lunch. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember this when I was picking out what to wear today and that is why I now have red raw toes from wearing my sky high Kurt Geiger heels on the walk to work. I remember finding these shoes in John Lewis’s end of season sale last week and just managing to squish my feet into them then but I was convinced that it was because my feet were swollen from the 10 viewings I had carried out that morning. I had also convinced myself that if I lost the stone I had planned to lose last year, then my feet would be slimmer and they would definitely fit. I don’t know what happens to me when I am shoe shopping it’s like all common sense leaves my brain as soon as I enter the shop door.

Three Ways: Autumn/Winter 2013 – Coats

It’s about that time of year when you decide that sandals and summer dresses just aren’t going to cut it anymore and you need to go shopping for the essential winter coat. But with a forest of leather, cotton and tweed ahead where could you possibly begin?

Well to start with lets see what’s trending on the A/W 2013 catwalks. Well there was a lot of PINK, but I’ve shown you what you can buy to follow this particular trend – (https://amelielockhart.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/three-ways-autumn-2013-trend-pink/) so now let me show you what else is out there for the fashion conscious in need of some new outerwear. AND as always I will be offering a budget, treat and extravagant choice so you can go shopping without feeling guilty.

Poem For My Mother

Lisa Syratt, where do I begin?

I won’t thank you for the Goggin chin.

But I’ll say cheers for other things,

Now I’m gonna pull at your heart strings.

You’ve been my Mum now for many years,

We have shared many laughs and some tears.

Three Ways: Victoria Sponge

Three Ways to enjoy the classic Victoria Sponge: Paid-for, packet-mix or home-made.

1. Paid-For

If you are buying your Victoria Sponge, ensure the cake is still soft and, if you are able to, give the sides a prod to check there are no hardening edges. Also make sure you pick up a cake with the most time left until it’s best before date because sponge goes stale very quickly and if you eat it even one day past the B.B.D. it is usually too late.

My favourite supermarkets for cakes are Morrisons as they have a fresh cake counter or Waitrose. Morrisons charge about £4 for a fresh 10 inch victoria sponge, but get there early as they sell out fast and make sure you are going to eat it that day or the next as they go stale quickly. The fresh cream and jam are really tasty and you can’t beat the price. Unfortunately, you cannot order them online and I know in my area Morrisons are few and far between but do not fear cake-lovers as Waitrose sells a gorgeous victoria sponge by Handmade Delights for £5.39, which you can order online for delivery. What’s more, as the cake is actually handmade and not perfectly round, if you throw away the packaging you can convince your friends and family that you actually made the cake! (Throw some icing sugar around your kitchen and down your top to really enforce your point.)

The Next Challenge: Headshots

For this challenge, I have chosen head-shots of me and the pups. Enjoy!

Related article – http://sundaystills.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/the-next-challenge-headshots/

Daily Prompt: “It’s our party we can love who we want”

The challenge: To take the third line of the last song I heard, make it my post title, and write for a maximum of 15 minutes. 

The Last Song I heard: We can’t stop by Miley Cyrus

The Third Line: “It’s our party we can love who we want”

Poem:

Is that true with the threat of pregnancies,

Unwanted trouser nits and STD’s,

And sex in the most awful locations.

Not to mention awkward conversations,

When you realise you have bedded a mate,

Which after a few vodkas sounded great.

A party just isn’t the place to hump,

Even if she has got the greatest rump.

So the next time you feel the need to mate,

How about you arrange a proper date?

Challenge Link: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/daily-prompt-speed/

I do… Again.

Often frowned upon by religious and non-religious folks alike but if we put god aside for a moment, are multiple marriages something that should be referred to as a sign of commitment issues or emotional detachment? Or could these serial spouses be onto something? After all we are living longer, communication with potential partners is easier and these days you seem to be able to get a divorce quicker than ordering a takeaway. Personally, I haven’t felt the need to get married once let alone several times but I just feel sorry for the brides and grooms of today who aren’t marrying for the first time and are therefore being dubbed the next Elizabeth Taylor.

Daily Prompt: Street Superstar

She thinks she is the next superstar,

standing there with her acoustic guitar.

But she’s just a young girl far from home,

a diva queen without her throne.

Stood between Tesco and Poundland,

her stage today is far from grand.

But maybe one day she will make it big,

and land her very own O2 gig.

But our street superstar will have to wait,

as only time will reveal her fate.

She could be the next X Factor winner,

or just another street corner singer.

Realisation Dream (Daily Prompt: I’d Like to Thank My Cats)

I make my way into the walk in wardrobe and brush my hand across the silk of my evening gowns. I head towards the shelves of beautifully paired shoes and carefully select my black Christian Louboutins. My recently pedicured feet gratefully slip into them and I stand in front on my full-length mirror analysing my completed outfit. My red Stella McCartney evening dress is figure-hugging in all the right places, accentuating my recent weight loss and my heels help to show off my toned calves. I stare at my reflection and can’t help but thank my recently installed home gym for my new found self-confidence.

I’m suddenly in a black cab being whisked at high speed through the traffic of London, we speed past the red blur of the double decker buses but I fear that we are still going to be late. I swing open the car door and run along the narrow streets, my heels clicking on the cobbles. Finally, I spot the marble entrance of the Lancaster London Hotel and my speed increases, I’m not sweaty or out of breath due to my recent gym visits and my hair and makeup remain perfectly in place.

As I enter the main hall, I swim through the sea of cheap suits and apathy and straight to my colleagues, Les and James. We share a kiss and the mandatory smalltalk but as I turn to the main stage their faces blur into the background. The trophy glimmers in the hand of the speaker and as it catches the light I am blinded by it.

“And the award for Estate Agent of the year goes to…”

I smooth down the expensive fabric of my dress and make my way towards the front of the crowd. I am already half way up the stage stairs when I hear my name called. I realise that I finally have everything I ever wanted and I beam at the speaker as I take the award from him. The trophy fits in my hand perfectly and I wrap my fingers around it to feel the chill of the metal but I feel nothing. The speaker guides me to the pulpit and I lean towards the microphone, this is my moment.

‘Thank you, I would just like to thank…’

My mouth goes dry and I clear my throat to start my speech again.

‘Sorry. I would just like to thank…’

My mind goes blank, I know this is how I am meant to start my speech by acknowledging those who have contributed to my success; parents, siblings, significant others etc. but I cannot think of anyone to thank. The fabric of my dress begins to cling uncomfortably and my feet sting with pain from the height of my heels. As I look out into the crowd for reassurance, I notice that everyone has left even Les and James and I am standing on the stage alone with just the award for company. The truth suddenly hits me, in actual fact I have nothing.

Related articles

• Daily Prompt: I’d Like to Thank My Cats (dailypost.wordpress.com)